June 1st- My year has come to an end!

Oh My Word! Has it already been a year? This year has passed by so quickly. I never thought it would end. But I made it and I stuck with my promise. A year ago today I heard God speak to me. I have always been one to day dream about my future: a great husband, great kids, and a comfortable income. But I was daydreaming so much that it had consumed me. I let it become the one thing I thought about daily, instead of letting God take care of it. Plus, my relationship with Him was pretty rocky.

So on May 31st, I prayed and told God that I gave it over to Him. I put full control of ALL my life in His hands. I wasn't really expecting an answer, but sure enough, I got one. The next day to be exact. June 1, 2007 at EXACTLY 9 am, I was awakened by a voice, God's voice, telling me to give Him a year. A year? That seems soooo long. I had just turned 28, so I would be 29 when the year was up. Too close to 30! Come on, why a year? But you know, the year has gone by so quickly.

I am not saying it was easy. It was far from easy. I encountered more trials in the past year than I think I have in my entire life, combined! A lot of family drama, work chaos, etc. It all hit me hard this year. But in the midst of the trials, I called on God more and gave it all to Him. I did not have to worry about it anymore. God had full control and He would help me face those trials. In turn, my faith and relationship with God grew more and more everyday. I do still struggle with connecting with Him through His word on a daily basis, and I am working on that, but I also allow Him to take control of every area of my life. I have no worries anymore.

Ok, so back to the commitment. I gave God the year. Yes, I would look at a guy and think 'Man he is cute! I wander if he is the one.' but then I would tell myself 'Tonya, June. You can do it. God will keep His promise if you are faithful to your commitment.' So there were many struggles, but it hasn't been too difficult.

There was one instance where I allowed my dreams to get ahead of my commitment. I was really depressed (for like a day) when I turned 29. That is one year shy of 30 and I am still single. So to help with my depression, I joined eHarmony. I know, stupid decision. Well, because of that membership, I e-mailed a couple guys and we were talking. There was even a guy that was friends with a friend and we were communicating a little more than the others. I got so wrapped in it that guilt overwhelmed me. I had to tell this sweet guy that I was unable to continue talking to him because I had a commitment that I was breaking and just talking to him made me feet guilty and sick. But I knew that I had to get back on track with God because the guilt was distracting me from my daily life. I don't know if I will ever talk to this guy again, but God has a plan for me.

So, here's to the best year of my life. I am glad that it is over, but the lessons I have learned will remain with me forever. Now I can believe that God is working on the heart of the man He is preparing for me. I know He continues to work on mine. And who knows, there may be wedding bells before you know it!