Chasing After God

That is my heart's desire. To grow as close to God as I can. I want to be in His presence daily. I have struggled a lot with reading His word, praying...everything that I need to do in order to draw closer to Him. I love God with all my heart. I trust in Him and I know that He has my life in His hands. I have surrendered my will over to Him. But I struggle daily to get into the word. I have even found myself having a hard time taking time to pray. I feel as though I am not putting forth any effort.
Is that why my blessings are so slim?

I love my life! I have great friends and my family is not so bad. But I know I am missing something. I am not quite sure what it is. I am very happy on the inside, but my face never really shows it. I always use the excuse that I am tired, but I think sometimes it is more than that. Could it be that because I am not spending time with God that I am not as happy as I should be? I mean, I am happy or maybe I am just content. I don't really know. I just know that I need to draw closer to God.


I also think that I hold onto a fear. Fear of what I am not sure. I know that it is not a fear of my relationship with God. I think it is more of a fear of what others will say if I stand up and speak. I know I don't need to be afraid, but I have a bad case of stage fright. There is so much that stirs in my heart that I would love to share with people, but I freeze and I can never really share it with the passion I know is there.
Oh, how I need prayer!

Chasing after God...that is definitely what I want to do. How do I do it? Through God's word and prayer.
That is a good start!